Attack...of Giant Cucumbers!!!

I have deep admiration and envy for gardeners who meticulously care for their gardens. There are not many things you can labor over and be awarded with a tangible product (what does all that paper pushing at work accomplish anyway??). I started dreaming about a garden as soon as I moved to a house with a yard. Now, why I would want more responsibility, even after I acquired a dog and am about to start grad school effectively saying goodbye to my carefree life as I know it, I am unsure. After some initial help from my mother, I have successfully harvested an abundance of bok choy, lettuce, green beans, green onions, strawberries, habanero and sweet peppers. I always feel a faint pride when I go out to the garden and snip a pepper for dinner or sneak a just ripened strawberry while I water in the mornings. Now, I have an emergency. Please refer to picture below. You see that mass on the left? That's ONE cucumber plant.

The little-runt-that-could while it's two predecessors died. This plant has infiltrated the fence (lodging cucumbers in between the "good neighbor fence"), spread across other plants, and is threatening to take over my garden and probably my house. Not only is this plant impressive in size, it's fruit is also -- so big are these cucumbers it makes me want to drive out to the midwest and enter in one of those giant vegetable competitions.

This is NOT what the seed packet said would happen.... I'm sure there is some gardening techniques I'm not getting. Like pruning, maybe.

I would appreciate any cucumber recipe or usage you could advise.